How To Tell an American Tourist From a European

Smiles are a dead giveaway. Europeans don’t smile on vacation and do not have smile wrinkles.

Flip flops are another American-only trait. Europeans wear sandals with straps or designer sneakers.

Any man wearing a necklace is from America. Especially if it is made of hemp or has wooden/bone beads.

Anyone with more than 2 children with them.

Single parents are Americans.

Any children present hints toward American.

Europeans know where they are going and do not usually spend a lot of time turning their heads.

Restlessness is a telltale sign of Americans, especially leg twitching.

Wayfarers and Smiths are American.

Weird, athletic-inspired Oakleys with bright colors are European without a doubt.

Blonde chest hair is European.

Short attention spans are American.

Rednecks=American, Red cheeks=European.

Freckles are as American as apple pie.

Sunscreen is American, as is tanning oil.

Older model digital cameras are American.

Pastel-colored shirts are European

Europeans have shorter shorts.

Ed Hardy is American (also gross).

PDA is all-American

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